Our Four Sons

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, "I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enough that he just gave away a huge portfolio."

The next guy said, "I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari."

The third guy says, "I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home."

Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, "What are you guys talking about?"

"Just about how good our sons are doing," the three men replied.

"Well, my son is doing very well," says the fourth man, "he's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home."

* Mood: peaceful

Redneck and his Dog

A redneck went to town with his dog,

tied it under the shade of a tree,

and headed into the bar for a cold one.


Twenty minutes later,

a policeman entered the bar and asked,

‘Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?’

The redneck said it was his.

‘Your dog seems to be in heat’ the officer said.

The redneck replied, ‘No way.

She’s cool ’cause she’s tied up under that shade tree.'

The policeman said, ‘No! You don’t understand.

Your dog needs to be bred.'

‘No way,' said the redneck.

‘That dog don’t need bread.

She ain’t hungry ’cause I fed her this mornin.'

The exasperated policeman said, ‘NO !

You don’t understand; your dog wants to have sex!’

embarrasing shits number 1.......

I was out on a driving lesson when I suddenly felt the urge to defecate, I explained the feeling to my driving instructer who swapped seats with me and gunned the car doing 50 in a 30 zone, I managed to get home, and missed the loo by two seconds.